Dogbert: "Women like men who boast about their accomplishments, but they hate men who boast. I will be your designated bragger, allowing you (Dilbert) to appear Humble."
Dilbert: "One potential problem with this plan is that I have no accomplishments."
Dogbert: "Yeah, and if she isn't wearing make-up we'll be honest too."
- Dogbert's advice on dating
Dogbert: "I've come to the conclusion that whats inside a person doesnt count because nobody can see it."
Dilbert: "I never knew you were such a philosopher."
Dobgert: "Thats my point!"
- Dogbert's philsophy on life
"Why does it seem as though I am the only honest guy on earth?"
"Your type tends not to reproduce."
- Dilbert & Dogbert
"When you're with a woman, everything you say will lower her opinion of you."
"But I can give her compliments right?"
"No! That's the worst thing. Women keep a log of all compliments. They analyse the pattern to identify negative trends."
"Should I use my real name?"
- Dogbert advises Dilbert
"Should I date a co-worker?"
"You should date anything that has a pulse, bad judgment and no restraining orders against you."
"But she has to be hot."